Not sure how to get your photo-hating partner on board for your next family session?

You’re not alone—and you’re not out of options.

I’m breaking down the four types of reluctant spouses and how to handle each one so you can strut confidently into picture day with less tension.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

• The partner is worried about the kids misbehaving
• The partner who needs a little incentive (yes, bribes)
• The partner who hates smiling on command
• The partner that needs to be reminded of the “why” of family pics

Let’s goooooo.

Do men always hate family photos?

Now, before we dive in—yes, I’m using he/him pronouns throughout this post. That’s because, in my experience, it’s most often the menfolk who resist family photos the hardest. That said…

male partners don’t own the market on photo reluctance.

So while I use “he” throughout this post, just know this advice applies to anyone who’s feeling the photo-day dread.

1. The Partner Who’s Worried About the Kids

This is the partner who thinks your photo session needs a line-up of perfectly-behaved children, all standing at attention like tiny cadets ready to salute the camera.

To that I say: nope. In fact, the goal is the opposite.

I’m not here for obedient robots. I’m here for your actual kids—the ones who run and jump and tackle and squeal and throw leaves in the air. The ones who make fart jokes mid-session.

That’s who I want to photograph.

If your partner is convinced the session will be a disaster because the kids won’t behave, tell him this:

“Good. Our photographer doesn’t want perfectly behaved kids. She wants them as they are—messy, slightly chaotic, and completely real.”

2. The Partner Who Needs a Little Incentive

Let’s talk bribes.

You might already be planning on treating the kids to ice cream or pizza after the shoot (excellent idea, by the way). So why not do the same for your spouse?

Think about what they really love—maybe it’s a kid-free Sunday, a solo Target run without anyone texting “where’s the ketchup?”, a quiet house with no responsibilities for a few hours, or even a weekend away with friends.

Or, you know… maybe the incentive is a little more behind-closed-doors.

No judgment here.

I’m just saying that sometimes a well-timed “if you do this for me, I’ll do that for you” is wildly effective.

3. The Partner Who Hates Smiling on Command

This one is close to my heart. I married a stand-up comedian who absolutely cannot smile on cue. Every time he tries, he looks like he’s pooping. See?

Here’s the truth I share with clients

You only need to smile at the camera for a tiny bit. I’ll get a few of those “everybody smile and look here!” shots for Grandma and the holiday card.

The rest of the session? It’s just your family hanging out.

We’ll play, explore, laugh, snuggle, toss the kids in the air, and I’ll capture the real stuff. You won’t even notice the camera half the time.

Let your partner know: this won’t be 45 minutes of fake grins. It’s going to be fun. Yes, fun.

4. The Partner Who Needs to be Reminded of the “Why”

This one’s about values.

If nothing else has worked—if you’ve reassured them about the kids, offered incentives, and promised no cheesy fake smiles—try this:

“Hey, I’m the one always behind the camera. I take the pictures, I document the memories. But this time? I want to be in the photos. With our kids. With you. I want to remember this season of our life, and I want our kids to have those memories too.”

And if your partner is the money-minded type, add this:

“We’re investing in this session. If we show up with a bad attitude, we won’t get photos we love. And that would be a waste—of time, money, and energy. So let’s go in with a good attitude and get our money’s worth, okay?”

Final Thoughts (And a Little Shameless Plug)

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yes, this is exactly my partner,” first of all—solidarity. You are not alone.

And second, if you’re in the North Liberty, Iowa City, or Cedar Rapids area, and this sounds like the kind of family photos you want, I gotchu. Let’s make some magic together. And yes, I promise—it’ll be fun.

Check out my family photo packages and pricing 👉 GO THERE